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I am a new Christian. If you have read any of my other posts you know that not too long ago I thought this God thing was a sham and that Christians were pathetic. Well, I am eating my words on a daily basis and truthfully, I love how it tastes.
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As a new Christian I have had to learn how to move out of my comfort zone and have faith in something unseen. Initially, this was very difficult for me as I did not want to admit that I had been wrong or that what was happening inside me was anything more than an emotional response to new ideas. It has taken a while for me to wrestle with my own issues about what being a Christian really means. There are a few specific events over the last two years that stand out to me as major milestones in my development. Here is just one of those big events that helped me to see God’s amazing power.
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Prayer has been one of the biggest obstacles for me to overcome on my journey to developing a relationship with God. What I am talking about is not just praying, but having meaningful, genuine, heartfelt conversations with someone you truly love and trust. I am just guessing here, but I have a feeling that this a sticking point for many people and especially for those new Christians who are seeking to find how to have a deeper relationship with God.
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A while back my pastor challenged us as a church to pray “bold prayers.” I was a little baffled by this at first. In my infancy I thought he meant to pray for big things. You know: miracles and healings. To me this was just wishful thinking. These prayers were irrational and unprovable and I had no use for them. But when he described the prayer he intended, I was intrigued by the simplicity and the power of what he was asking me to do. It was the perfect prayer for me. It was simple, meaningful, and best of all it could prove to me whether or not this prayer horsepucky worked! This prayer was a staple of his sermons. I had heard it from him before, but had never considered it for myself.
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Before I tell you what the prayer was, a little background is in order here. I am a teacher. I make a living educating kids about “the three R’s” (Readin’, Ritin’,& Rithmetic’). More than that, I believe my purpose is to teach kids about life: How to enjoy learning, how to work with others, how to manage time, how to set goals and work toward them, and how to make and keep friends. I have always believed that the kids that pass through my door from year to year may never remember a thing I taught them academically, but the lessons they learn about life will be with them forever and I take great pride in having a hand in helping develop their character. That is an honor for me and is what keeps me coming back year after year.
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So, back to the prayer… The pastor dared us to pray the bold prayer of “Send me your broken people.” Seems appropriate enough for a teacher right?
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I am thinking, “I’ve got this! I am a problem solver. Daily, I make decisions that affect kid’s lives forever. If I cannot be trusted to deal with kid’s problems, then who can?”
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Man, was I ever in for an awakening!
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In my decade or so of teaching before uttering this prayer, I was aware of a number of kids going through difficult divorces and had heard of mistreatment and abuse in some of my kids’ past. When you have as many students as I have had over the years, it is inevitable that you will come across these stories, but my previous experiences could not have prepared me for the bombs that started dropping on me the very morning that I said this prayer during our moment of silence.
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Of course, I cannot share specifics about my students and would never share something that could embarrass or hurt them, but I will just tell you that God heard my prayer and unloaded the Enola Gay’s payload on me for several days. Like Hiroshima, I was a wreck and I didn’t know how to put the pieces back together for myself much less for the kids that so desperately needed my help.
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I wish I could say that I came through and saved the day. I wish that I could tell you that I stopped their hurting and changed their circumstances. I wish… but I cannot. The reason I can say that without being heartbroken is that I know it is not me who can fix anything in other people’s lives. That is God’s privilege and He alone can right the wrongs and heal our hurts.
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The greatness of this understanding is that it allows us to be God’s hands, feet, and mouth here on Earth and to allow Him to use us to accomplish His work. This truth was evident to me as I spoke to these students about their pain. I found myself speaking to them though I had no idea what to say. Gentle and compassionate words were coming from my mouth and I became keenly aware of my participation in a dialogue that I was not actively contributing to. My mind was blank and yet the words poured from my throat as though someone else was speaking. I know that was God using me for his purposes. I have no doubt in my mind that He had that conversation with those children because I could never have reached them with my own simple words.
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How awesome is that???
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Bold prayers. I tell you what! They are for real.
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Don’t take my word for it. Give it a try… I dare you.
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